Reforming Marriage

There are several books that will not change your mind on a subject, but will entrench your position if you agree with it before ever picking it up. Reforming Marriage is such a book.

If you read the reviews on it at Amazon, you’ll notice that no one is impartial in regards to Reforming Marriage. One is either a raving fan, or thinks that it was written by a raving lunatic. Considering the subject matter and the frank manner in which the author discusses it, that shouldn’t come as a big surprise.

The author speaks frankly about marriage, headship and submission, and advocates a Complementarian position in marriage. This specific is not the (sinful) Chauvinist position where the husband dominates or domineers his wife, nor is it the (sinful) Egalitarian position which declares that God was wrong to create genders because there should not be any distinction between male and female.

The author specifically rebukes the feminist movement, which he in fact, attributes to weak men who have abdicated their God-given leadership roles:

“While it is true that the feminist movement is represented by female spokesmen, they are really nothing more than shills, fronting for a male lie… If Christian men had loved their wives as Christ loved the church, if they had given direction to their wives, if husbands had accepted their wives’ necessary help with their God-ordained vocation, there never would have been room for any kind of feminist thinking within the church.” (p. 32-33)

Considering I take the Bible seriously, and as a result am an advocate of complementarianism, I found little in Reforming Marriage to disagree with, but instead found myself highlighting often, reading it aloud with my wife, and agreeing over and over again. I also found it incredibly challenging because when you place God’s authority upon the shoulders of the husband in marriage, you also place the responsibility to lead it Biblically on the same shoulders. That continues to challenge me to love and cherish my wife as Christ loves the Church and gave himself up for her.

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